The Island of Misfit Toys

For all of you taking geometry or who have taken it I would like to intoduce a new clause.
You're in the middle of one of those dreaded proofs *dramatic chord* and you're writing down a statement. The reason is so obvious, but the stupid "technical" or "formal" term eludes you. That's when you bring out,
"The Because I Said So Clause"
Now making it's way into textbooks around the world.

I have an inet ability to find dog crap-uh, I mean poop. I step in it everywhere I go. We dropped Lex off after her Thanksgiving break at a friend's house who were driving out to Ohio. We were carrying her stuff to their car; *squish*
I had to take the dog out and play with it for fear of physical punishment; *squish*
I get off the BUS, off the BUS! It's 1/4 mile from my house on the side of a road where nobody lives! *squish*
I'm baffled.

Today was the first day back to school since Thanksgiving vacation and it's already like "When is Christmas break???" I hate school. I think I'm going to homeschool next year, the only thing would be whether or not they'd let me play soccer.

YG tonight was fun. I think Kyle and I could seriously freak some people out. The only reason the people from YG don't have us trucked away by men in white coats...well, I'm not exactly sure why, maybe they feel bad for us. But people who have no idea who we are...
For example: the time our YG went to Eat N Park, and while we were waiting I acted like a retarted Santa Clause and Kyle sat on my lap and drooled all over the floor.
Or the time we did our football play impressions(slouch, grunt, make unintelligent noises and run into people) in the middle of a mall and then started rolling around on the floor. Then there's the whole act like your gay scenerio but we won't go there...

Someone please explain to me why people like dogs. It's beyond me.

There's this story I have to tell, it's hilarious. I can't say who it's about, or who told it to me because they'll kill me("And you don't want that...") So they will remain unnamed.
This certain person was shopping for a birthday present for their cousin. They picked out a sweater they thought was really nice. However it wasn't untill that person got home that one of their relatives pointed out that their cousin lived in New Mexico and would never NEED a sweater. So the person who bought the sweater kept it and got their cousin something else.

I thought that was very funny, sounds like something someone would do in a movie. But to make this person not feel like they're the only one who does this kinda stuff here's something I did:

I was prentending that I could play the guitar in my room(which was a total reck b/c I was moving stuff around) when my mom called me and needed something. When I got back I sat down and realized I didn't know where my pick was. If I'd left it in my room I'd never find it, at least not that day. I sighed and the pick, which I had been holding in my teeth ever since I got up, fell into my lap.

I was going to go run today and attempt to stay in some kind of shape for indoor, but today the first day of deer seaons-a national holiday in hick-town Western Pennsylvannia. And I didn't feel like getting shot by some idoit thinking I was a doe, not today at least.

I re-aranged my room, again. It's hardly ever in the same configuration for a month. I dunno, I just like it different I guess.(I know, me? different? no way)

I had a thought but Chris made me forget what it was.
The Phantom Menace was on TV. Have I ever said how much of a Star Wars freak I am, or was. My mom was afraid I'd get involved in a cult I was so into it. I knew all the weird numbers in the movie, "TK421, T1, ST312" (and yes those are all from the movie, I didn't make them up) Each ship's speed, weapons, shields, hull armor, manuverability. I'm not sure if I remeber everything now. It's actually kinda scary that I used to know all that, if I knew my schoolwork that well I'd have 100% in every class.

Anyways, that was totally pointless.

Learning to play the guitar(or at least trying) is really great on your fingers. After they're indented by the strings it hurts to touch anything w/your fingertips. Then they get calloused. Big thick lards of built up dead skin that keep you from feeling anything.(don't eat them they don't taste good)

Have you ever woken up in the morning with a REALLY big loogie? I did this morning. I rolled over in bed and haukt up a huge one. It fill up my whole mouth and just kinda fell out into the trash can; it was practically a solid. *yum yum yum*
So I just kinda wandered around the house being sick all day. Played the guitar(or at least tried to) Um, I can't rember what else I did. I just got back from Mike Penn's house.
Oh yeah I slept in till 11 today which is very abnormal for me.

Slept in.
Got a shower.
Made sauasage balls.
Played guitar.
Played piano.
Ate breakfast.
Listened to music.
Slept some more.
Ate Lexa's b-day cake.
Watched part of the football game.
Soccer.
Ate turkey.
Drove mum sam and lex to see Monsters Inc.
Came home.
Wrote blog.

I think that's it.

I was kicking the soccer ball around today and I ran into a tree.

The Four Seasons:
(as told by Zach)

Outdoor Soccer
(fall)
Indoor Soccer
(winter)
Baseball
(spring)
Track
(summer)

Is 10 hours in the car worth skipping one day of school? I think so.
We went and got Lex today, pretty uneventful trip. So she's home now and it's like she never was gone only she talks more.
Umm...nothing's really happened. If anything does I'll let you know.

"Grabbed hold of my enemy's neck and I choked till he ceased
Blistered is disbelief I awoke dead
When I awoke I couldn't belive it was me.
All the time is was ME."

I only have to make it through one more day of school w/out dying.
Wednesday I'm driving out with my dad to pick Lex up from OSU. Um, I don't think we're going anywhere for Thanksgiving which is fine by me. Saturday I think people are coming over to eat and stuff. I wanna go skating sometime but that's not importaint.

School still royaly sucks, no big surprize.

no what i hate ppl who cant spel o use puncuashon an axpect u 2 know whut their sayin

Bailey almost blew me up w/a bottle rocket the other day. We were throwing them into the air and his hit the ground before it went off. There was a moment of silent panic when we didn't know where it was, or when it was going go off. Then suddenly this streak of sparks flies on the ground towards me. You should have been there, all the guys were freakin out, I jumped 10 feet into the air, but it stopped right under me. It was somethin just like the movies, I just started to leap away when it went off.

This all happened while we were at Kyle's house, myself, Penn, Bailey, Josh, Kylee Wyotee, Derek, John and J.T.
7 guys playing guitars, blowing things up and hitting eachother; it doesn't get much more steriotypical

We spent the last hour or so chasing hunters off our property. I went outisde and there were like 4 of them just walkin around, and this isn't the first time this has happened. So we called the game warden and he came out. Then this stupid dog of theirs(it was a beagle) came onto our property. I wanted to hold it from ransom, but my dad wouldn't let me. So then this idoit comes looking for his dog and says he's sorry.(Right, they always say that) and the game warden said we could press charges if we wanted but my dad decided not to. That's it.

These are 13 rules Matt Bramble lives by and with the help of Mr. Ugly have trained me in.

The Procrastinators Creed
1.) I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2.) I will never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses
3.) I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration
4.) I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the ammount of bodily injury I could expect to recieve from missing them.
5.) I firmly belive that romarrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6.) I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount to time given.
7.) I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
8.) If at first I don't suceed there is always tomarrow.
9.) I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10.) I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word when I get around to it.
11.) I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12.) I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan
13.) I shall never do today what I can put off till tomarrow

Soccer last night was...interesting...the referees stoped posting the score after 7, and I stoped counting their goals after 15. We score one though. My dad said it looked more like "Kick the Korean Kid" than soccer.
Um, turned in a 7 page english paper today-glad that's over with.
The other day Sam's stupid dog ran into my mom when she was playing volleyball and knocked her over. She hyperextended the tendons in her knee and is hobbling around on a walked now. I hate that dog.

I hate long term projects. If you have more than two days to put if off you will.

Today-um...I got out of two of my morning classes b/c I had to go get molds of my feet(no, not mold ON my feet) for orthotics, I have weird arches or something. So I got back right in time to fail my vocabulary test.

Hmm, I can't think of anything else.
Kinda funny that I still refer to EHCA as "our" school. Like Danielle was showing me pictures and I'm like "do those guys go to our school now?" Or when I'm telling someone a/b it I say "we have to" and not "they have to." That kinda thing.

There is little variety in public schools. Everybody likes the SAME song because they think that everyone else likes it. But in actuality everyone only says they like it because they think everyone ELSE likes it. The same clothes, hair, food, music.
But everyone SAYS they're different. Becuase everyone is different (different automaticlly makes you cool) and so everyone thinks they have to be different. "I want to be different; just like everyone else."

That's my fuming for the day.

When I woke up today there was a stange man in my house trying to rob us. So I cut his heart out in a really violent way.
Then our bus crashed on the way to school..."and everybody died-except for me."
When I got to school the principle told me I had been accepted into the National Honors Society and was elligble for a full tuition scholarship to any college in the world.
It was right then that my friend rushed into the office to tell me that we had won the lottery.

That's not really what happened today but I had to make something up.(Right Rachel?) I just had a regular boring day.

My parents are gone, I'm at the house by myself. The dog's there. I'm under strict orders to play with the dog and feed it and not beat it. So I'm trying to cope with this stupid animal all day long. So I take it out to "play" with it and what happens? I step in it's crap. This is just dandy. I hate the dog.

Entry From Chapter Two*:
"I watch the world through my telescope.
I am satisfied to watch others suffer and die for the cause to justice-
But to share no part in their sufferings.
My telescope it really the only way to see poverty, because I can't stand the
agonized and intolerable wails of children starving to death-
Their cries, their pain, it all really irritates me.
I do not care to hear and be moved, I would rather watch-
And not be bothered.
That is why I watch the world through my telescope."

*Chapter Two is the latest edition to my autobiography(That black book I draw stuff in) It's just thoughts and writings instead of pictures.

Friday - no school!
I stayed home and cleaned stuff all day. Then Ugly was over and we went to see Monsters Inc. Once again no one else went. There have been numerous times when we've planned to go w/people and it ends up that we're the only two that go. Maybe it's that people don't want to be seen in public w/us, oh well. Anyways after that we picked up Mike and slept in the camper and froze to death.
Saturday - um, Saturday, uh...
Woke up, ate breakfast, then Mike and Chris decided to film me killing myself on the trampoline. (Pictures may be coming soon) I found out how to do a sideways flip like Trinity does off the wall in The Matrix.
After that we went to our YG's Harvest of Blessings where we walk around and collect food. Usually we used wagons but this year some genius thought it'd be a good idea to use shopping carts. So there we were, walking around Highlands with a shopping cart looking like idoits.(as usual) We didn't get a whole lot, we'd go up to people's doors and they'd be like "You're joking right???"
Well think about it, 3 goony teenage guys come up to your door on a Saturday and tell you they're collecting food, riiighhhttttt...

Have I mentioned that someone wrecked our mini-van? My mom was pulling out into an intersection and some old hag ran right into her. So our van's totaled.
I can't get into my hotmail account at the moment which is really ticking me off. I have another game at 9:20 tonight. Who the heck scheduals games at these times anyways??? Oh well, at least I don't have to get up and go to school tomarrow.
I got an 'A' in algebra! "I'm so happy..." Mr. Unk's Honors Algebra II 2nd period class may very well be the new form of tourture for the 21st century. I never thought I'd have an 'A' in that class.

"Now have you even driven before Zachary?"
"Yes, I've..."
"Okay then, we'll start with the basics."
"But I know..."
"This is the STEERING WHEEL..."
"I knew that"
"Good, now, this is the IGNITION KEY"
*looks a driver "instructor" w/a look that says "is anyone home?"
"Now when you drive you have to keep your eyes on the road..."
"What's the road?"
"The road is the black thing you drive on."
"Drive what on?"
"The car"
"The what?"

This is pretty much how my "practice driving" went today. Hey I figured if she's going to treat me like an idoit I might as well act like one.

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
Dylan Thomas(1914-1953)
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at the close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Through wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightening they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild me who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father there on the sad height,
Curse, blessme now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Hey all, sorry I haven't posted anything for a while, here are the blogs that should have been posted for the late week/weekend.
Thursday - school, blah blah, boring.
We had our first indoor game at 9:20 at night! I must be crazy to start playing soccer when I should be going to bed-of course we already knew that. The team is basically the JV team from Freeport so we lost miserably.
Sam came home from the hospital that night, she was really tired, but fine other than that.

Friday - I woke up at 6:45-the time I SHOULD have been walking out the door to catch my bus. I couldn't exactly move 'cause I was so sore from the game the night before(hey that rhymes)
Boring day of school, as usual.
My parents bought the movie Shrek which is one of the best movies ever.(Movie review coming soon)

Saturday - no school(YEAH)
We went paintballing. I have a welt the size of um, well I don't know what to compare it to. If you make a circle w/your thumb and index finger; it's that big. Chris and I were on different teams but I never got to shoot him. And there was a set of twins there that were big, goony, and I wanted desperately to shoot the heck out of them because they were driving me crazy. I light one up* but failed to hit the other.

*the term light up [LIT UP] in paintball means to shoot someone a lot at close range, also something you don't want to happen to you.

I went home w/Chris 'cause we were going to the Lasher's afterwards. We spent 5 whole mintues making a card that had absolutly no meaning to it.
We played hacky sack while we were there, um, and just hung around. Rachel "lost" my hacky sack(I think she stole it). I'll soon go into resecion if it's not returned me to.(I get emotionally attached to weird things)